The true history of the Corona Virus

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December 12th 2019

White House, USA

TRUMP: Gentlemen, I pay you thousands of dollars a week to give me solutions. I have a severe problem with 5G and China. I'm not going to lose the technology war. Tell me what we can do to end the Huawei threat.

ADVISOR 1: We have a plan to attack the leading Huawei factories. We've disguised it as terrorist attacks by the Muslim minority. This may delay production for a few weeks

TRUMP: Too obvious to believe. It doesn't work for me.

ADVISOR 2: Mr President, we have another, more aggressive and less obvious plan. An environmental disaster is affecting the main industrial area in Shenzhen. We will pollute the water with lithium and Huawei will be responsible.

TRUMP: Sounds good. What will be the collateral damage to Chinese lives?

ADVISOR 2: Uh, between 10 and 20 million. Hong Kong may be affected since it borders Shenzhen and we have interests there.

TRUMP: Hong Kong is not touched. We have too much at stake there. I'm not going to be the excuse for a military occupation of Hong Kong because of an environmental disaster. Besides, 20 million seems too much for me. Let's be reasonable. Mr Advisor 3. I hope you'll give me a good idea to keep you on the job.

 

ADVISOR 3: Mr President... Let's say... We can... We have the Corona, the crown.

TRUMP: What's that, a Mexican beer. I don't play with my.

ADVISOR 3: no, no, no. It's the corona virus. It is a variant of SARS, specially manipulated to affect orientals. We have the patent and the vaccine. The rate of contagion is the highest in the world, and it can block the Chinese economy. Besides, casualties are very low, 8% in Orientals and 1 or 2% in others. It mainly affects older adults with previous illnesses. The plan is ready, and in a couple of weeks, we will collapse China. We will start the infection at an animal market, and the 5g factory in Wuhan will be the first affected.

TRUMP: I like it. Give the order. By the way, what do we call the plan

ADVISOR 3: I had thought of Trump Virus.

TRUMP: Thank you, Mr Advisor. I'm flattered you've earned $1,000 more a day. But let's call him TrV. We'll see you in a few days to see the results.

 

 

 

December 31st, 2019

TRUMP: Tell me how it's going

ADVISOR 3: The Chinese didn't see it coming. The whole city is infected. They have reported a new unknown disease to the WHO.  The infections cases occurred between December 12th and 29th, according to our plan.

TRUMP: Okay.

ADVISOR 3: There is a Chinese doctor, Li Wenliang, who has warned about the seriousness of the infection. He is quite famous, and I fear he will discover the American origin of the virus

TRUMP: Take him away from the investigation. Can you do that?

ADVISOR 3: It's not that easy, but I can get you in trouble with the Chinese censorship

TRUMP: Perfect. I'm in the middle of an impechment process. I don't have time to deal with this. I leave it in your hands.

ADVISOR 3: Thank you, Mr President, don't worry. It's not in my hands but those of the virus. It will spread throughout China.

TRUMP: I hope you don't fail me and that shit doesn't get into America.

 

January 17th 2020

White House, USA

TRUMP: Well, gentlemen, what news do you have about the Trump Virus?

ADVISOR 3: The Chinese have reported 2 casualties from the virus, but there are 128. They won't be able to stop it. They need months to develop the vaccine.

TRUMP: I love it. Keep counting.

ADVISOR 3: The virus has reached South Korea, but they don't know it yet

TRUMP: Better than better. These Asians are going to find out about the trade war.

ADVISOR 2: Mr President, excuse my interruption, but we should establish sanitary controls at the airports in San Francisco, New York and Los Angeles. The VrT

TRUMP: Like VrT, VrT.  I'm getting tired of these names. ADVISOR 2 talked to the WHO about changing the name, something with community virus 19. The immediate plan for airport checks.  

And as for you, ADVISOR 3, I don't want this virus to enter American territory. You are responsible personally. I want you to investigate how to introduce the virus into Iran.

 

January 21st, 2020

White House, USA

TRUMP: Dear Sirs. I have ordered officials in Washington State to confirm the first case of coronavirus in the United States. This is very serious. My first question is clear. Do we have the vaccine?

ADVISOR 3: Yes, yes, yes. Good at the laboratory level. The virus has mutated and is very expensive to produce. There are few stocks...

TRUMP: Do you have the vaccine for the members of the government and me?

ADVISOR 3: Yes, that's right. And with more resources, we could produce enough for all of America, a couple of months.

You're going to Saudi Arabia to prepare for the spread of Iran. It's a position of great responsibility. Don't fail me again. The security services will accompany you. Travel right, no luggage. Uncle Sam provide. Out right now...

TRUMP: Ladies and gentlemen. Advisor 3 has left on a mission. Let's talk about the vaccine.

ADVISOR B: The pharmaceutical company I represent can produce it in a month. The price is 100,000 for production and 100,000,000 for possible profit depends on subsidies to developing countries. We are talking about a pandemic, Mr President.

TRUMP: There is business. Health is a business. We're going to defeat America's enemies and make money in the process.

ADVISOR 2: Excuse me, Mr President, this is the case of Li Wenliang, he talks about too much despite Chinese censorship. He has become something of a hero against the disease and knows that the origin of the virus is the USA.

TRUMP: Take care of him. If he can die infected... It's the most poetic thing.

 

 

February 7th, 2020

TRUMP ACQUITTED IMPEACHMENT

TRUMP: Gentlemen. You will be aware that I have been acquitted of the IMPEACHMENT today. Trump always wins, and America is great again. You have one more gift to give me.

ADVISOR B: We'll start producing the vaccine shortly, end of March is the deadline. China is collapsing, and it's affecting South Korea and Japan

TRUMP: Thank you, thank you, something else.

ADVISOR 2: Li Wenliang has died from the virus

TRUMP: Okay and about Iran

ADVISOR 2: Mr President, Advisor 3 is not very effective at work. He hasn't managed to infiltrate the virus yet. We should...

TRUMP: I'm sick of Counselor 3. He's fired. Mr Advisor 2, you take over the job. If possible, infect members of the Iranian government.

 

 

February 14th, 2020

TRUMP: Today is Valentine's Day. What news you bring me about dear covid-19. I like the name the press has given it.

ADVISORY B: A Chinese tourist who was diagnosed with the virus has died in France, Europe.

TRUMP: French, they'll come crying for the vaccine

ADVISOR 2: The official number of deaths from coronavirus is 1,500; in fact, it is ten times more. Almost all of them in China. Also, Egypt confirms the first case in Africa.

TRUMP: But didn't it affect only Orientals?

EXPERT A: It's genetic. The virus has mutated, and the Persian virus is different. It's possible that the contagion could spread across all continents. But deaths will be very low in non-Asians. But the Iranian virus may infect Africa and perhaps, only perhaps Europe.

TRUMP: I don't want any trouble. I want the vaccine and to win the trade war. There's always collateral damage in wars. And you guys don't disappoint me. I want Iran to fall to its knees and see these ayatollahs die. And Europe... They're the perfect customers for my vaccine. I do not care about a couple of cases in the old continent.

 

 

February 24th, 2020: 

TRUMP: So how's it going with Iran

EXPERT B: The epidemic is spreading well. While the official death toll in Iran is 12 people today, one congressman said the death toll is as high as 50.

TRUMP: Leaders Infected?

ADVISOR 2: The Iranian regime reported Friday the death of eight people infected with the new coronavirus out of 143 new cases detected in the last 24 hours, bringing the death toll to 34 and the number of cases to 388. Five leaders infected.

TRUMP: Okay. You can't accuse us of anything. They see this as better than killing with drones. I said it. You have to be creative in war and business, which are the same thing, by the way.

EXPERT B: Mr President, there is the case of Italy. Authorities reported that a 38-year-old man identified as Mattia, who lives in Codogno, a town of 16,000 people 60 km from Milan, was infected. There is an outbreak of infection in northern Italy

TRUMP: Shit, now in Italy too... I like Pizza; I love Italy.  I don't want any trouble with Italian-Americans. What's that virus doing in Italy? Give me a date to announce the vaccine to the press.

EXPERT B: Soon, sir, very soon. But we would recommend closing the borders. Temperature controls are not very adequate.

 

 

February 29th, 2020: 

TRUMP: Gentlemen, today's meeting will be short. I'm going to put our Vice President Mike Pence in charge; Mike will be working with you, professionals and physicians and everyone else on the team. I'm going to allocate billions of dollars extra to those that the Democrats have proposed in the face of an eventual epidemic. That's $2.5 billion to fight the virus. We are very, very prepared for this, for anything.

We're going to close the Mexican border for security, and we won't have any more illegal immigrants coming through. America will apply the same measures for China, South Korea and Iran.

The vaccine is in production, and we will have enough stock to sell by the end of April 2020. God save America.