My intention is to present an european point of view about the British humor. Europe is the subject of PELS, specially the interculturalism. What are the topics in our countries about the European neighbours? The humor is a funny way to understand it.
I've taken a book ‘TRUE BRIT‘written by JIM DAVlDSON’s (J.D.). I do not know JD at all. I asked to some English (pardon, British) and they know him well. He is quite a popular but his humor is a little rude.
My idea is to present different jokes about different European countries and about Europe itself.
TRUE BRIT ls a comic’s guide to all those funny people over there, a dictionary with different words about Europe or ‘The Continent‘ We will travel all around Europe with this jokes.
But I am Spanish, born and bred in Spain. I will offer my personal but Spanish‘ point of view.
However my paper is an intercultural memo about the British humour, specially about Europe and the Europeans.
- BRUSSELS, home of the people who run the Common Market, The Eurocrats, or, as they’re fondly know as, the Europrats. I start with Brussels because we are here now. If I compare it with Spain, we think the same about Brussels. The capital of Europe, the European Parliament and of course the Eurocrats. When
i speak about the Spaniard I describe the average Spaniard: ‘the normal spaniard‘. An the other hand I consider an ‘average british‘ the person, who can laugh about this jokes. That is not very methodological, but it turns out interesting in order to understand (or try to understand) two countries.
The spanish people do not like so much the bureaucracy and we have our own jokes about it.
R and R used to mean rest and recreation in Brussels it stands for Rules and Regulations.
This is another point. Spaniards do not consider Brussels as a ‘Regulations city‘. Rules that all Europe has to accept. But the North european have this idea. I've seen this point myself in Denmark, for example.
JD use a literary form: Here are ten things you should never say to a Belgian. Some of the jokes are stupid but some others are relevant and interesting. Some british read that book and I can maintain that they laugh about it.
BELGIUM AND BELGIANS
Here are ten things you should never say to a Belgian:
Excuse me, am I still in Belgium or did I miss it.
I should say, the 1st. time I laughed about it. The country is small. That is true.
Name five famous Belgians.
For an average or common spaniard is the same. Who knows something about Belgium in Spain, Italy, England or Eire. Some can say: Tintin or Herge. No more. English and Spanish are in the same level.
You must have been delighted when the Germans got back together again.
Here I perceive another kind of humor, not Spanish at all. What does Europe mean for the brits? ‘Divide et vincere‘ We will come to this point later on. What I see is that the Belgians do not want to have anything to do with Germans but they do with England.
Some of my best friends are Walloons.
Firstly I was surprised because the English know there are Walloons and Flemish in Belgium. I am sorry but the Spaniards do not notice it! Secondly I thought again about the english policy of division. if we take a fresh look to the english policy in european affairs all through the history we find specially: division and vigilance. That is a personal point of view.
You don’t look like an arms dealer. ‘
Belgium is know as an industrial country with growing industries. Also is famous for the weapons. Well, most of the spanish don’t know it but some of the Brits do. However, ‘war is business‘.
There is an old tale about a boy in the Netherlands. He found a hole in a dam and put his finger in the hole to prevent the disaster. His name is of course dyke.
Anyway dyke and dam are synonymous. But dyke mean too in slang lesbian. ‘Want to hear a joke about a lesbian?‘ This humor is not that easy to understand.
lf it hadn't been for Max Bygraves who would have heard of you? Max Bygraves is a dutch singer known only in Britain .
My wife’s got one of yours caps.
That is another double meaning joke. Cap is like a hat but too a women contraceptive. We can see this sexual orientation in a lot of jokes.
Yeah, but who taught you how to play football.
The Brits are very proud about football. They suppose that the football was born in England. So the Brits were who taught the dutch how to play it .... ..
Freed any IRA men recently?
I do not know so much about the politic between UK and Holland. l suppose that was some problems with IRA terrorist and the extraditions low. The next joke follows this way.
Wait till we have some Mollucans on trial in Britain.
Mollucans islands are an old dutch colony with an independence movement going on and of course terrorism. lf the dutch freed some IRA men we will send some Mollucans to Holland. That reminds me this joke about ETA that we read before.
if there’s one thing, I hate more that tulips it's Edam.
Holland is famous for the tulips. Edam is a dutch cheese exported to UK. JD says that the brits do not like this dutch products. Buy British! l remember a similar joke about the Spanish Sherry.
The country’s dull because it's flat, but what’s your excuse?
l should say, that l laughed the first time about it. Are the Dutch really dull? No comments.
We have visited 3 countries of Europe following the sentence of JD. Now l would like to know
what think this writer about EUROPE.
E ls also for EUROPE which is what this book is all about. After 1992 will be a single market, more or less, which will mean that you can be unemployed in twelvecountries at once.
That is a big true. The future for millions of European is the unemployment. I can speak about
Spain. We have a 25% unemployment. That is a limit. Young people do not have future at all.
Lobby your Euro MP immediately about collecting twelve Glros.
That is funny but not that easy. A lot of Spanish go to London and collect the unemployment giros. But you cannot do that in different countries at once. The free movement of workers is a nice idea but in fact few people do that.
The second concept about Europe is Eurospeak.
E is also for Eurospeak. There's going to be a lot of this the trick ls to understand what the speaker’s really saying: _
Germany ls not interested in dominating Europe (It's the world we’re after).
The Brits will forget never the 2. World War. They do not want to trust the Germans. But it is the same for all the German’s neighbors: Holland or _Belgium for example. The member countries want Britain to take her proper place In Europe (somewhere behind Albania, San Marino and Crete).
This sentence says me a lot about the ideas of the Brits. They think really that England (UK)
does not have her proper place in Europe. First they are used to an solationism. Europe is the Continent and the UK. And they want to maintain this status.
We want Britain to have a proper say in European affairs (this is what we want her to say). No comments. That is a british book written by a Brit for british people.
The New Europe will speak with one voice (it will have a German accent).
The German speaking population in Europe is the largest one with c.a. 100000.000. It's
normal that they speak with a german accent but the Brits are still afraid about this predominance.
EC Regulation B 312?x?SW81BT governing the size and consistency of selected tuberssubjected to an oil-based heat process and multiple flavoring enhancements comes into effect on 1 January 1993 (There go the crisp).
This joke talks about the special regulation language of the European Union. And that's all.
English and American know it well.
Of course the last one is:
Your chips are crap. '
JD meeds to explain that the national dish of Belgium is chips. Not all British know it. English and Belgian eat a lot of chips. That is a point in common.
Finally JD comment something about the Flemish people:
The Belgian speak flemish and frequently sound it, but as they are the only people who do, don't bother to learn it.
Everybody knows that the brits (like the French) do not like to learn another language. We should come back to the question later on. At least they notice that the Belgians don't speak Belgish.
If you ask a Spaniard, he believes that the belgians speak of course Belgish. But JD doesn’t say anything about the french speaking area of Belgium. Does he know that the walloons speak french?
The aim of PELS PROGRAM is to visit four countries: Belgium, Holland, Spain and England.
What do english people think about Spain, my country.
S IS ALSO FOR SPAIN
Ten things you must never say to a Spaniard:
Gibraltar is British!
l don't like it at all. Of course we still have Ceuta and Melilla in Morocco. We shall give them back one day and England will do the same in return. Anyway Gibraltar is the last "european colony‘ and a problem in the diplomatic relations between Spain and England. lf we speak about the European Union, Gibraltar must come back to Spain. What do the Gibraltar people think about it'? Most of them prefer to remain British. They have got much more autonomy and independence. But that is another point. I
I prefer Empire Sherry.
They are jealous of our sherry. That is all. But we can find another interpretation: Buy british instead of buying european products. Nationalism once more.
I am with club 18 - 30
First l couldn’t understand it. Afterwards l came to know that ‘Club 18430" is a particular travel agency. They work with typical british tourist who thinks all the time only about sex & beer. Obviously, for Brits, Spain is connected with tourism.
Up the basques.
An easy joke is to say: “Up the IRA‘. But l understand that l can't compare ETA with IRA.
Anyway l asked to some brits and they said that this joke does not mean to support the terrorism. It means more to hold out a minority abroad.
If it wasn't for the Brits you'd still be riding donkeys.
That is a very rude sense of humor. The English associate Spain with donkeys. I do not know why. ln some school books you can dins pictures from Spain always with donkeys. l found never donkeys in Madrid.... _
My travel company’s gone bust.
The tourism in Spain is important, but not specially the chip english tourism. The big hotels
don't want to work with English. Why‘? They do not leave so much money, but make a lot of trouble.
What did you do under Franco?
lt is a pity if the Brits associate Spain with Franco. We have got a long history. Franco was only a chapter. Nevertheless we find again an acid sense of humor.
And the last one:
Shame about the Armada.
Everybody knows the history of the ‘invincible Armada‘. But this joke is not only for Brits. I could test that the Dutch laugh too. That is a part of the history that Dutch and English share.
Next week will we go to Holland. l think that it is interesting to know what Thinks JD about this country. l read this jokes to some dutch people and they understood nothing about it.
N IS ALSO FOR NETHERLANDS
Ten things you must never say to a Dutchman:
Want to hear a joke about a dyke?
Nobody understands it except for the Eurocrats. I found the same kind of jokes in Denmark but not in Spain.
We are coming to the end of this paper but first I wold like to interpret another concept that I have mentioned before.
FOREIGN LANGUAGES. There are a lot of these in Europe and sometimes the natives can be real shits and insist on speaking In theirs. That is very british. They are famous because English people speak only English wherever
they are.
If this happens to you, do what Brits have been doing for centuries. Speak very slowly and very loudy and when the European still fails to understand, turn to your companion an say:
‘You see, I told you, they're all bloody idiots‘
This comment is genial, but we read again.
This won’! help you to find out what you want to know but it will make you feel superior which, after all, is the position most Brits assume naturally when they are in another country.
I cannot say it better. That is really so.
In most European countries English is now taught as a second language,.as indeed it is in many parts of Britain.
The most difficult English to understand is in Britain. This joke is not european, is British.
Before I finish this paper I would like to consider another concept. We speak about European
Union and that needs a new mentality.
That means a new European.
NEW EUROPEAN which is what we are all going to become.
The New European will show Dutch courage,
Such courage is a british expression difficult to understand. I suppose that the Dutch people
are a little fresh to get what they want. -
take a French leave,
We have the same expression in Spanish. That mean to leave without saying anything.
wear Italian clothes,
Of course the fashion of the new european should be italian. ‘They are the most elegant in Europe. I
drive a german car, . '
BMW or Mercedes better as a japanese car. That is logical.
available in only two colors, Danish blue or Belgian chocolate. I
I do not understand so well that about the Danish blue. It is a kind of cheese. Belgium is famous for the chocolate.
He'll build castles in Spain, which he'll sell as time-shares,
Germans.
That means more or less to achieve dreams. The second part is funny.
Time-shares proprieties is an american system very successful in the market but problematic. You can earn a lot of money if you sell buildings this way.
have the luck or the Irish,
For the Brits the Irish are always happy and they are very easy going people. Perfect characteristics for the New European.
never Welsh on his friends, This joke is quite difficult. First I thought that JD was talking about Wales but later on l notice that this expression means that you will never betray on your friends
and every night he’ll lie back and think of England.
Another joke about sex. Half or the british jokes are about sex. The mother says this sentence to her daughter the day before her wedding: ‘You do not need to know anything about sex just lie back and think on England‘.
But all these parts go to make a whole which is precisely what may people think
we're in danger do disappearing into.
I hope you have enjoyed this paper.
