Trans Marijuana
I am trans. I was not always that way. As a child, I was an effeminate boy who liked dressing in pink and wearing skirts. Nobody understood me.
When I grew up, I became a little rebellious and then I got into hormones. Yes, they told me the first time: be careful, hormones change your life. At first I bought them on the black market and I noticed their effect. My breasts started to grow. I had less beard and I liked my body. It was addictive. Men looked at me in the street.
Later, with the progressive left-wing government and the support for the LGTBI community, I came out of the closet. I managed to change my name from Juan to Maria Juana. And thanks to minority laws, I even got a job at the Barcelona Public Library, in the purchasing section. A real luxury. That was my life. Professionally, things were going well. I did not earn much, but I had managed to become a civil servant of the Generalitat. A job guaranteed for life.
But I still have not told you that I have a hobby. I like smoking marijuana. And with the crisis, the prices of supplies kept rising and rising. My modest civil servant salary was not enough, so I decided to grow it myself. I did a lot of research online. I bought a grow tent and lights. I invested in all of that and then I started planting.
What I did not know was that there are male and female marijuana plants, and the males pollinate the females, so they stop producing THC. I discovered that through my own experience. I lost my first harvest.
So I decided to do something different. They told me to kill the males, to pull them out when they were small. But I am trans. Well, trans without surgery. That is my red line. I take hormones, but I have not cut anything off yet. Everything is going very well, and I am not going to go to those extremes. That is my red line.
That is why pulling out the male plants made me feel sorry, because I am also a man, even if I am trans.
I started searching online to see what I could do, and I bought another grow tent to separate my plants. The boys with the boys and the girls with the girls.
When the plants start to grow and it becomes clear whether they are male or female, between 4 and 8 weeks after germination, the male plants first show small, smooth, round pollen sacs, like oval little balls that look like testicles, at the nodes where the branches join the main stem. The females develop pistils, or fine white V-shaped hairs, emerging from tear-shaped calyxes at those same nodes.
I put the 3 males in one tent and the 2 females in another to separate them, but I knew they were going to pollinate them. The males, all the same, were going to ruin my harvest.
So I kept searching online, on Dutch websites, and I discovered that there is a hormonal treatment that turns male marijuana plants into female ones. Something fascinating. I bought the products online, carried out my whole experiment, and in the end I think I succeeded.
The males turn into females, and the seeds produced by those females are and will always be female. I had achieved trans marijuana, just like me.
When I talk about it among my queer and gay friends, they are blown away by me. They do not believe it, but I tell them: this is the best LGTBI+ product. Just look. Everyone is very happy because in the end I managed to create trans marijuana.
But I have not told everything. The first joint I smoked from the feminized marijuana was explosive. In fact, I had a vision of the future.
A world in which the LGTBI+ community rules, including trans people, gays, lesbians, and other communities not yet known.
A lesbian is the president, and the vice president is a gay man. There is a world government. Half of the population is LGTBI+, and the other half is straight. One quarter are straight men and another quarter are straight women, who remain there as a reserve for reproduction. Straight people are required to have two children, and afterward they may undergo hormonal treatment and become part of the great LGTBI+ community, with benefits such as a guaranteed minimum income.
A happy world, without wars, without conflicts, where love and peace reign, where sex can be enjoyed without restraints in a polymorphous way, and where people are happy.
That was my dream. And when I tell it to my friends, the ones who understand, they all agree that this would be the happy world. And above all, trans.
